Sunday, 28 April 2013

I'm Changing My Image ft. Liyana

WARNING: THIS IS A REALLY BORING, LONG, PERSONAL POST


So, I've been feeling really sad lately and I honestly just figured out why in the shower 
(( yes, everything they say about showers is true )) 


REASON NO. 1
 I've been feeling so sad because everyone keeps saying REALLY bad things about me. And when I say really bad, I mean it.

And I felt really sad cause of all this but then I realized that the only reason people say that to me is because I'm really mean to them. So, I've decided to change my image and become a better person. It can sometimes be funny how I have all these really good comebacks and stuff but I never realized how much these could hurt someone's feelings.

So if I did hurt your feelings





REASON NO. 2
I compare myself to EVERYONE. I've realized this for sometime now but I never really did anything about it but I'm gonna start! So what if I'm not as skinny or smart or creative as everyone else? it doesn't matter. As long as you think you're good enough, you are.






THIRD REASON! 
I ALWAYS try to impress my parents in anything I do but it never works. And they always compare me to my sister.

Me : *gets 7A's*
Parents : why aren't you an honor student like Keshia?! you're just going to fail in life.



Me : *gets an A for BM*
Parents : SEE YOUR SISTER! HIGHER MARK THAN YOU, IDIOT.



Me : *passes all gymnastic exams*
Parents : why can't you dance like that girl? you dance like a robot.



Me : *exercises and feels good about self for once*
Parents : you look fat today.



Me : *ACTUALLY practices music*
Parents : that was bullshit.



So I've decided to stop trying to make them proud and do it for myself. If I'm happy with whatever I do, they can't bring me down with whatever they say and however they compare me with whoever.



FOURTH REASON! 
I feel so lonely sometimes. I swear, even when I'm with my friends or whatever I feel so left out.


 So I'm gonna stop hanging out with them so much and meet new people that I can talk to! I'm gonna try to be as friendly as I can and stop bitching about everyone.

I also want to be alone more often. Just cause you're alone, it doesn't mean that you're lonely. I feel less lonely when I'm alone than when I'm with my friends so I don't really care if people think I'm lonely because I won't be.





FIFTH REASON! ✌
I never feel good about myself.

I always feel too stupid, too fat, too lame, too disgusting, too ugly etc. So, I'm gonna exhale all those thoughts FOREVER. And I'm gonna start feeling better about myself!

How?
  • I'm gonna start listening to really good music.
   
Sorry, theres a little bit of porn on the P!nk one. 

  • I'm gonna start exercising! (( idk why but I feel really good after I exercise ))




  • I'm gonna start eating healthy (( I swear this helps you feel better ))




  • I'm gonna stop going on the Internet so much. 



  • I'm gonna get out of the house more even though it's just to the porch or wtv.



  • I'll start reading and reading and reading. (( I used to read all the time, but lately I've been too lazy ))



  • STOP PROCRASTINATING



  • Stop obsessing over guys!




  • Be happy with whatever I've gone through so far. Even the negative things I've experienced.

  • Take up photography


  • Stop cursing so much! (( I curse too much ew ))


So yes! I'm changing my image! I'm honestly hoping this works. I really don't want to feel sad anymore and I DON'T want to be one of those helpless little girls that complain about everything. I'm changing for the better and see things from a more positive point of view.




SHOUT OUT!

Liyana, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that when you said that the thing you admired the most about me was my ability to see everything from a positive point of view is THE NICEST thing anyone had ever said to me. 

I honestly wanted to cry when you told me that . Also thanks so much for being there for me when I needed it the most. You really are the bestest person ever and I appreciate how you tried to help me out with my problems. 

THANK YOUUUU ♡♡♡



p.s. idk why, but this sounds very much like a suicide letter. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

2 comments :

  1. This is THE most inspiring thing I have ever read in my entire life. You literally made my whole week. I'm going to join you on this whole 'New Image Adventure Thingy' whether you like it or not :)

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